Questions and Answers (Spring 2021)
The following represents a select number of actual questions recently sent in to the ministry (lightly edited for brevity, clarity, and anonymity).
If you have a question you’d like to ask, feel free to send it in here: https://www.expositoryparenting.org/contact
Question: Which Bible version do you like the most?
Answer: If there is one Bible I would give a blanket recommendation for, it would be the John MacArthur NASB. The NASB is the most accurate formal equivalent translation in English, and there are no better study notes than those of John MacArthur (in terms of comprehensive accuracy in every major biblical doctrine). The second edition of his study Bible was just recently released by Thomas Nelson, and would be a worthy purchase.
Question: Can you point me to Scripture and provide an explanation of why God is grieved over man’s sins if He elected some to salvation and not others? In searching out these teachings, this is one of the few things that I really struggle with. I just finished watching Sproul’s teaching called Does God Create Unbelief. It was very helpful. Thanks for any insight you can lend.
Answer: Essentially, you are asking about God's immutability (as well as His impassibility) in relation to His created beings. Note that Scripture often uses anthropomorphic language (such as the "arm of the Lord") in order to explain His perspective of something, such as sin, that exists in life. This doesn't mean that God actually has this characteristic (i.e. a physical arm), but is a way of explanation to finite minds like ours. As John Calvin said, God essentially “lisps with us as nurses are wont to do with little children.” In other words, God uses “baby talk,” in a sense, to express Himself to our limited understanding. So that also applies to Him “grieving.” It is not a grief of wishing He had done otherwise, but a grief to explain His displeasure with human rebellion. It is in contrast to being pleased with it. And the reason He is displeased with it is because it’s sin; it’s a violation of His Law. Now it is certainly true that God ordains whatsoever comes to pass, including sin, but it is also true that men love sin and hate God—and so they are still to blame for their rebellion. When a painter makes a masterpiece painting, or a singer makes a masterpiece song, it demonstrates the creative genius of the person. It demonstrates their attributes, their insights, their abilities, and so on. In the same way, Scripture describes God as a Potter and His creation as the clay. And the reason why God made us and all things (as many catechisms begin), is “For His own glory.” In other words, God did not create mankind ultimately for mankind’s happiness, comfort, or other man-centered reasons. Rather, He created man and all of creation for the purpose of manifesting His own attributes, demonstrating Himself and His own glory. So, what attributes does God possess? The average Christian would mention things like love, grace, and kindness, and those are all true. But is that all God is? Of course not. He is holy, just, and wrathful too. And so, His purposes in creating mankind were not simply to demonstrate only some of His attributes (as if He could divide Himself up and parcel it out), but all of them. Therefore, as the Potter, He has created some clay to be molded into an object of grace—the elect whom He chose to save—and they will be eternal demonstrations of how kind, loving, and gracious He is. We will sing God’s praises throughout eternity. On the other hand, He has created some to be molded into an object of wrath—the non-elect whom He purposed not to save will forever demonstrate how just, holy, and wrathful He is. They will forever suffer in the lake of fire as they curse their Maker. In both cases, the very nature of God is on display. In contrast to that, if God were to save all of mankind, there would be no one against whom He shows His wrath. Or if God were to save no one, there would be none with whom God shows His mercy. So, just as a painter must have access to an entire palette of colors in order to fully express himself, so God has decided to create both the elect and the non-elect in order to fully express Himself. Note that He did not “need” to create anyone, but chose to as an expression of His perfect will. With that in mind, in order to accomplish this end goal of manifesting Himself, He planned for sin to occur, and that through that sin some would be saved and some would be condemned. So, that is why He planned for sin to occur even though it displeases Him. In light of all of this, give Romans 9 another read!
Question: In light of what Scripture teaches, what should a woman do if she has to work (even if only part time)? I ask this because I teach my son during the day, and from 1 to 5 I work at an office job. But I have no choice because my husband is unable to work and I have to. I’m just curious and praying if this is God’s will for us right now.
Answer: if your husband legitimately has something preventing him from being able to work, certainly an example like that is permissible. In Scripture, we see that Timothy’s father could not provide for him spiritually, so his mother and grandmother had to fill in the gap (2 Tim. 1:5, 3:14-15). The same is true financially. Granted, most mothers who are working outside the home aren’t in your position, but it sounds like it could be a true necessity in your case. As always, though, you should still be happy to affirm that the Bible’s standard for the family is that the father would work to provide for the family (cf. 1 Tim. 5:8), the wife would work at home (cf. Titus 2:5), and the kids would be discipled throughout the day by their parents rather than others (cf. Deut. 6:6-7). Unfortunately, what many in your situation would be tempted to do would be to use a legitimate reason, such as the reason you have, to become either complacent with regards to the Bible’s standard for the family, or even antagonistic towards those standards. So we must remain diligent in affirming how families are to be ordered, even during seasons of life that may prohibit us from fulfilling that pattern. And the church should be happy to assist those who are in genuinely difficult circumstances (cf. James 1:27).
Question: Hello, I’ve been following the page for some time now. I really enjoy it and my wife and I have learned and have been reinforced in what we believe. Here’s some background to my question: I’m a bivocational pastor in a small, rural church, with a very small salary and also a second job that helps. My wife and I have two boys ages five and three. She has worked as a nurse before having children full time but once we started having children she works only two half-days. We don’t see a decline in our familial or spiritual growth and we have become more strict on our schedule to make sure we don’t neglect our responsibilities. In light of that, do you think that we are acting in an unbiblical manner if my wife continues with this position? We don’t believe so but we don’t want our opinions to be guiding us.
Answer: First off, it sounds like you have a humble heart, and your willingness to consider alternatives is commendable. I’m glad you've been encouraged and edified by the ministry! Second, to begin thinking about the issue, we need to recognize that in Titus 2 (which is a foundational text for the family), the Apostle Paul says that women are to be “workers at home,” which lexically (according to BDAG, the premier Greek lexicon) means that the home is to be the sphere or domain of her labor. This instruction is for “younger women,” who, based on the implications of the context, have children who are also still at home (cf. Titus 2:4—“love their children”). And we need to admit that Paul gives no caveats for his instruction, contrary to what so many people today do (thanks to the inroads of feminism). All that to say, at the outset it’s vitally important to see that the biblical standard for the family is that the man works to provide for his family (cf. 1 Tim. 5:8), that the wife stays at home caring for domestic needs, and that the children are home as well, being discipled in the faith by their mother when their father is away. It’s important to affirm that standard because although I think there are legitimate exceptions, far too many people take a cavalier approach to Titus 2 and immediately think of reasons why the instructions don't have to be obeyed—rather than striving to conform their lives to it and determining what needs to change in their life so they can obey it. So, third, when it comes to exceptions, we know that in exceedingly difficult cases, Scripture would not condemn a woman for filling a role that should normally be filled by a husband. We see this, for example, with Timothy whose father was an unbeliever (cf. Acts 16:1). In light of that, Timothy’s mom and grandma filled the spiritual void and raised him in the faith (cf. 2 Tim. 1:5, 3:15), which Paul commended. And since spiritual things are of even greater value than material things (1 Tim. 4:8), I think we can reason backwards that there are instances (such as that of a single mom) in which it would be acceptable and understandable for a woman to work outside the home. Fourth, having explained a paradigm for exceptions, we need to again not only recognize that it is not the biblical standard (nor should we defend it as such), but we should strive to correct the situation insofar as we are able. We see this, for example, in 1 Tim. 5:14 in which Paul encourages young widows not to wallow in their misery and situation, but to seek out a new spouse so that they can “bear children” and “manage their household.” This was in important in Paul's mind because he wanted those widows to have a man to provide for them, rather than burdening the church with unnecessary financial concerns (cf. 1 Tim. 5:9-11). So while there may be a time in which we cannot meet the standard, we should never be complacent. Obviously, some cases can be corrected quicker than others, of course. Fifthly, we need to recognize the severe consequences of taking a casual approach to this situation. In multiple places, Paul warns that these family patterns are spiritually critical. He instructs young women to marry to “give the enemy no occasion for reproach” (1 Tim. 5:14) and he says that the pattern should be followed “so that the word of God will not be dishonored” (Titus 2:5). Lastly, we need to be honest in evaluating our predicament to determine whether it really is an exceedingly desperate situation, or whether we are simply being influenced the affluence of twenty-first century western living and/or feminism. Often, it seems as if finances are a driving factor for mothers working outside the home, when in reality the situation is a symptom of a failure to live within a budget, deny materialism, correct priorities, etc. That takes real heart-searching honesty to identify and correct. So, all that to say, I obviously cannot give you a yes or no answer exactly, but I think this will help you think through it. If working outside the home means hiring a babysitter or sending the kids to daycare, for example, I could not see it being legitimate aside from a very difficult financial strain. Or, if the finances are in order, and there are no other extenuating circumstances, I would then question the motive for wanting to work outside the home—career prestige, desire for a “break” from the kids, vacation money? Hope this helps, and let me know if you need more clarification. God bless you!
Question: Any suggestions on how to engage young children in conversations about their spirit or what we’re reading? How to open that spiritual dialogue? Our oldest is eight years old.
Answer: Catechism is a huge help for your Bible time, because it “frontloads” children with the doctrinal answers to questions that will arise in the text as you are teaching them. So interspersing catechism Q&A while you teach the Bible is one major way to engage kids. See the chapter entitled “Miniature Theologians” in Expository Parenting for how to do this.
Another helpful idea for that age is to ask fact-based questions at the end of Bible time. For example, “Who did God choose in this passage to lead the Israelites?” Or, “What did Paul list as fruit of the Spirit?” These questions will draw out your child’s understanding without overwhelming someone at that young of an age with introspective questions that could lead to frustration. How to do this is explained in the chapter entitled “Carrying Out the Task.”
Finally, application, in which you drive home some important instruction derived from the text, is vital for drawing out discussion and helping them engage at the end of your Bible time. You might ask, for example, “What are some sinful things that eight-year-olds often do?” Or, “How could we pray if something like that happens in our life?” This will help your child be not only a hearer of the Word, but a doer.
Question: I am curious as to what age it is appropriate for a child/person to be baptized?
Answer: That's a great question. Much like the supposed “age of accountability” for salvation itself, it’s really not so much an age as it is a '“level.” Certainly children can come to faith, but in order to make a credible profession of faith associated with baptism, they should be able to clearly articulate the Gospel, have a testimony that reflects conversion, and take the initiative in pursuing baptism–which are the same things that would be expected of adults. In fact, though one concern is that children might not be able to provide a meaningful testimony, the reality is that I’ve heard many adult baptism testimonies that concern me as well, often with no true understanding of the Gospel (i.e. claiming that this is about “having another chance to become a better person”), wrong motives for baptism (i.e. wanting to make their family proud), and so on and so forth, in which case that adult should not have been baptized either. So really there should be no major distinction between children and adults in this regard. One important factor that distinguishes mature thinking is the ability to delay short term pleasure in favor of long term outcomes, and when it comes to the Gospel, this means being able to count the cost of following Christ. In that regard, kids should be able to recognize that being a Christian means being hated by the world, losing friends, giving up popularity, and many other temporal consequences. Beyond that, a child should take the initiative in baptism meaning they meet with the elders on their own and explain their intentions, they write their own testimony, and they stand before the congregation and publicly testify. Those are the same things that would be expected of an adult. There should be no hand holding, or lowering the bar for kids, which helps evaluate whether they're ready. There are other factors to consider with regards to baptism, such as what this means in terms of church membership (and potential church discipline), but hopefully this helps you begin to think about the issue of age itself. In the meantime, keep teaching them verse by verse according to the principles of Chapter 6 in Expository Parenting. Hope that helps!