Dear Mama: You Can Homeschool

Often, the fears we face as moms don’t come from a place of wisdom as much as they come from the world. I know, because I have dealt with these fears. What if I mess up my kids? What if they can’t get into college? What if we can’t afford to live on one income? What if I don’t have enough education?

Friends, the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God (1 Corinthians 3:19). It is hard, I know, to exist in this fallen world while simultaneously living out the basic principles in scripture. Sometimes it feels impossible.

Homeschooling is like that for many moms. It just seems too overwhelming to even begin. We envision starting a tiny private school in our living room, with all the supplies and costs and experience that go along with that. We recognize our humanity, fearing that we will fail to be patient enough or smart enough to be mildly successful.

But fearing the worst is what keeps so many families from the blessing of home-based, biblical education. This blessing includes Christian education, protecting little minds from very worldly ideas, providing solid academics, having family discipleship, and so much more.

There are some very common fears that prevent moms from thinking that they can homeschool their children, and I want to put them to rest today.

We Can’t Afford It

Whether it’s a concern about one vs. two incomes or you’re worried about the affordability of curriculum, let me set your mind at ease.  Homeschooling (and the homeschooling lifestyle) is not expensive.

The first thing you need to realize is that it’s not a curriculum that makes your kids smart. It’s the ability God gave them to learn. And since they have that built-in, they can learn from most any material put in front of them. Second, remember that as parents, you love and care for your children more than the best teacher on earth. YOU have what it takes!

If you are committed to homeschooling, trust God that He will provide. I speak from experience. You can share teaching responsibilities with another family. Borrow books from other homeschooling families. Trade books. Check used book sales. Teach them what you know. Ask a close friend or family member to tutor your child in what you don’t know. Check out educational videos at the library or stream online. Join a local co-op and try to schedule your kids in subjects that are hard for them to get at home.

We live in a very stuff-oriented society. So we think we need a classroom full of things to teach our kids. But in reality, you can provide a few really good books and teach them how to learn, and they will take off.

If income is your concern (and it is for everyone), learn to think outside the box when it comes to education. Just because the school down the street operates from 8-3 each weekday, doesn’t mean you have to. Your schooling hours can be whatever you need them to be. Nights, weekends, early mornings, or late afternoons.

If you and your spouse depend on your income, there are many ways to work with that schedule. I’m constantly amazed at the creativity of homeschooling parents where both parents work!

Read my full post on Money and Homeschooling here.

I’m Not Qualified

The National Home Education Research Institute reports that children who are educated at home typically score 15 to 30% higher than public school students on standardized academic achievement tests. This is true of students who are taught by parents with or without a formal education, and students whose parents fall within a wide range of income brackets. In other words, a parent’s education and financial standing have no bearing on a homeschooled student’s ability to score higher on standardized tests than children who attend a public school.

A lot of moms feel like they can't teach what they didn't learn, or forgot, or just don't know. But that's just not true. You don't have to be an expert in anything to be a mom, and that includes all aspects of education.

You need a willing heart and some good resources.

If you didn't learn the Bible as a child, there is no time like the present. Read it with and to your children. Learn together. Grow together.

If you hated history or forgot everything you learned, guess what? You can get the teacher's guide now! And honestly, the homeschool world is light years ahead of public school textbook creators when it comes to teaching history. There are hundreds of options to choose from that make it fun and engaging for everyone.

If you aren't a great writer or reader or speller...you can improve your skills as you teach your children. Practice with them. Challenge yourself to get better.

Learning is lifelong. There is no "cutoff date" for education.

My mom dropped out of high school in the 9th grade. My dad had a high school diploma. But they were introduced to homeschooling, and good books, and were given the encouragement that God gave them the ability to raise us fully! (And this was in the 80s, when only a few curriculum options were available.)

That's why I say Anyone Can Homeschool. I know it for a fact. Don't be intimidated. Take confidence in the abilities you have and in the fact that God gave you these children.

The first two chapters of my book, Anyone Can Homeschool, address this in detail by helping you to “think outside the school” and to do a deep dive into what teaching and learning actual entail.

I Don’t Have Enough Bible Knowledge

Don’t worry if you’re not sure how to teach the Bible to your children. I’ve been asked this numerous times, and I will always tell parents: If you are also new to Bible reading, learn alongside your children. There is no time like the present.

There is much wisdom, peace, comfort, and direction in the Bible. Turn to it first. Teach your children to do the same.

“Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:10-17)

Read Expository Parenting. It’s the blueprint for Bible study in the home.

I Don’t Have Enough Patience

Did you have the patience to teach your child how to walk? Did you have the patience to teach them to hold a spoon? Did you have the patience to teach them to ride a bike? Did you have the patience to teach them how to play a board game?

Did you have the patience to teach them how to swing? Did you have the patience to teach them everything they learned before Kindergarten?

We always find a way to do what we want most. If your kids learned to walk and talk and eat and play and dress themselves under your care, they can learn to read and write and add and think under your care, too.

If you think you can't do it, you have bought the lie that only experts can teach children academics. If you can parent, you can teach. It's all the same.

Have you taught your children to obey you? Have you taught them the God-ordained order of the family? Have you taught them to come when called, to obey quickly and cheerfully, to not argue or talk back, and to respect your authority?

Remember: The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:22-25)

We should all be walking in the fruit of the Spirit. I believe that what we call a lack of patience is actually a lack of discipline—in ourselves and in our children. It takes work and self-sacrifice to consistently train children, daily and throughout their childhood. It takes dependence on God's plan and His promises, knowing that both we and our children will reap great rewards.

This Is Your Moment

We know that mothers shape the future. Now is your moment. You are raising future mothers and grandmothers. Your calling is very high.

“When Christian parents take on the education—the complete upbringing—of their children, they aren’t just teaching math and grammar and history in a different location; they are laying a foundation for critical thinking and a biblical worldview. They are making a profound difference in the adults they send into the future. They are most definitely changing the world.

So while you read and hear and see calls for more funding for public education, more funding for education “choice,” more access to new programs and the latest technology, remind yourself that those are all tiny bandages on the gaping wound that is American public education. When you hear or read (or say) that your public school is different than all the others, or that your child’s teacher rocks, remember that the public education system is literally raising your child. In that case, you are the minor influence in their life. You are the secondary authority. Your 4-5 hours per day are secondary to the 7-8 hours (or more) spent with teachers, coaches, and hundreds of kids from hundreds of homes. The first years you spent with your toddler before school began will be completely eclipsed by the 12 years of their time inside the public school system.

Giving your children an anti-Christian education is not an expectation that Scripture puts on parents. When Psalm 127 speaks of children as arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior, it has in mind releasing those arrows when they are prepared. Ancient warriors usually fashioned their own arrows. They would work long hours, making sure their arrows were balanced and shaped just so, to be able to fly straight and true. They understood that the future of their entire nation depended on these arrows. They did not dare release them until they were completely ready. We should follow their example.” (Israel Wayne, Education: Does God Have an Opinion?)